I JUST PREFFED

Growing up, I always heard varying opinions about Greek life. And, by "Greek life," I mean social organizations at upper level institutions, not the every day going-ons of Grecian peoples.

From some I heard that joining a sorority or fraternity was one of the best decisions they made when going to college. From others I received advice that the whole establishment was just "paying for friends." From pop culture, I got a message loud and clear that Greek life = getting trashed with a tight-knit group of people that you would be friends with forever. I didn't really have my own opinions about it; I'm not sure what I would have done if I had gone to a secular university, pertaining to Greek life.

However, I'm a student as Mississippi College; I've been blessed to go to an institution that serves the Lord and seeks to glorify Him in every aspect of campus, including social organizations.

Pause for a moment. I believe that Christians can grow and flourish at secular universities, to be clear. They can do great things for Christ in regular non-Christian Greek life. I'm not saying secular sororities and fraternities are of Satan or just party groups at all! Labeling something as Christian does not always mean it's good or better or perfect; sin is everywhere, even in the Church. I'm just trying to paint a picture of what Mississippi College offers and why I think it's unique.

At MC, Greek life is referred to as "clubs" for boys (fraternities) and "tribes" for girls (sororities). There are 4 tribes to choose from for girls: Kissimmee, Laguna, Swannanoa, and Nenamoosha (simplified to KT, ST, LT, and NT.) Each one seeks to honor God through a sisterhood in Christ.

Each one has a theme verse or idea and a philanthropy (mission). KT, for example, has the verses 1 Peter 3:3-4 with the belief of being beautiful in Christ rather than seeming to be beautiful. NT is about having a sisterhood founded on love. ST wants to serve each other and Christ rather than be served.  LT seeks to serve each other and provide opportunities for growth and diversity.

Each one works with a different mission - there's "Mustard Seed" which works to meet the needs of the developmentally disabled, "We Will Go" which seeks to serve Jackson in a variety of ways, and many more.

Regardless of different mission affiliation or theme verses, each one is a sisterhood in Christ that seeks to grow each other and His glory.

Today is Pref Day, where we submit our preferences for what Tribe we want to join. The past week has been general rush where we've attending parties and skits put on by each tribe. Tomorrow is Squeal Day, where we go on a scavenger hunt mission to find out which Tribe we were put in.

The way "Preffing" works is really unique, I think. You fill out a card with the tribes in the order of which one you would prefer and then you place it in a big box. Then, Hunger Games style, one card out of all the cards of the girls who are rushing is pulled out at a time. You are then placed in your first choice. However, each tribe only has a certain number of spots so you might not get your first or second or even third choice.

Here's the thing though: it doesn't matter. 

Because, at the end of the day, all of them are great. When I heard this coming in I was like "yeah, okay, you have to say that," but it's true. All the tribes love the other tribes. All of the girls in the tribes love and respect one another. All of them have the goal of serving Christ. Where you end up is pretty much in God's control. You will end up in the tribe you're supposed to. You might be wearing a different color T-shirt than you wanted originally, but you get over it because each tribe is amazing.

So I just preffed and I literally had no idea what order to list the tribes. There's only four, after all, but I had no clue. I could see myself in any of them. I had to take a picture of my card sheet so I would remember what I wrote down because it was just random.

Either way, I just signed my soul away for the next 6 weeks of Rush. I cannot wait to see where I end up, who my "Big" is, the opportunities I receive, the friendships I make, and how God is going to use being a part of X tribe in my life.

Because no matter where I end up, it's going to be a blast.

We should make all our decisions like this. ;)

I'll let you know what happens, party people. Have a great weekend.



http://nenamoosha.weebly.com
http://lagunasocialtribe.wordpress.com
http://swannanoa.weebly.com
https://sites.google.com/a/mc.edu/kissimee-social-tribe/home

http://www.mustardseedinc.org
http://www.wewillgo.org/main.html

A City Not Forsaken

"What has God been teaching you lately?"

Growing up, upon hearing those words, my self-conscious always had to cock it's eyebrow. Not in a sarcastic way - more in, like, a hearing about some new age meditation thing from your hippie neighbor and you think it's a little absurd but you try to be a nice human all the time and just nod and smile and say something vague like "that's so interesting" or "yes, I think I heard about that on Ellen last week. She made fun about it and I laughed." 

It wasn't that I didn't believe God doesn't teach us things. But I always thought that in order for me to be growing or to have God "teaching me" merited some inner God-to-Gabbie dialogue. I expected to hear the words of God in my head, which never happened, of course. I thought it happened to other people, maybe, or that I just wasn't a strong enough believer to have God imparting lessons on me. I wasn't to That Level; I was only a blue belt instead of a black one. 

I thought that in order to learn anything about God or to have Him show me anything was a mystical voice from the sky like Moses' burning bush experience. 

College has shown me just how wrong I was. 

In just the past three weeks, God has been showing me so much. For the first time in my life, I truly believe that God is growing me and changing me. For the first time, I hear Him. And it's not a magical Morgan Freeman voice streaming into my brain. 

It's from His word. Verses that strike my soul, the ones that pertain to exactly this moment in my life. It's the amazing young woman you meet at Church who is running after God and wants to help you tie your shoes for the race. It's the sermon series you're slowly but surely going through online that's just been waiting for you. It's the campus ministry preaching on the same exact thing all this other stuff was about - and your church and your sunday school and your college's chapel sessions and your floormate's testimony that strikes you to your core. 

I am not even kidding. 

It's amazing and terrifying all at once. You are real, God. Thank you. My God, thank you. 

This lesson in itself is so amazing all in it's self, but I haven't even gotten to what He has been teaching me. It's a whole 'nother scoop of awesome in the banana split of Jesus. 

Basically, for the first time in my life, I finally understand that God loves me. 

I mean, I knew He did. It's a fact; they tell you it before you're old enough for Sunday school. It's a part of the whole shebang. Heck, I can sing "Jesus Loves Me" in two languages, one of which is with my hands. But I never understood what that love meant until now. 

For the past year - and, really, the two years before that - I've simultaneously loved God and tried to pursue Him while believing that because of the sin I struggled with there was no way I was going to heaven. My sin was too great. 

A girl who worshiped herself and hurt herself couldn't be a Christian. 

There was no way God could love me. Not someone like me. 

In the past three weeks God has shown me just how wrong I was. I wish there was a word stronger than "wrong" here because I. Was. So. Very. Dead. Wrong. 

I don't have the space or the mental understanding/capacity to try to describe and explain all the words that God has literally been slamming into my soul (I don't think I could even describe the affect these words had on my mind), but I just wanted to share some verses with you that helped me realize how much God loves me. Us. You. An abhorrent sinner. 

I don't usually paraphrase verses or pick out parts; I think verses should be read in context, but I'm going to be dropping lines from Isaiah 43 - 54 that just really opened my eyes. 

"But thus says the Lord . . . 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name, you are mine.'"

"I, I am he

who blots our your transgressions for my own sake,

and I will not remember your sins."

" . . . but with everlasting love I will have compassion on

you," says the Lord, your Redeemer" 

"For the mountains may depart 

and the hills be removed,

but my steadfast love shall not depart from you"

"Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my 

hands"

I never fully grasped what God's redemption meant. His mercy. His grace. His steadfast love which is unwavering, resolute, and enduring. Unending love. 

I am going to say this directly to you, reader. If you are a follower of Christ I hope you can see the beauty that He has revealed to me.  

God called you by name. You are His. You are not failed relationships. You will never be alone. You belong to the Creator of the Universe. He won't even remember your sins. He won't even remember. God has forgotten the guilt that made you hellbound and unclean. The mountains may fall and the hills collapse - the world may end - but you will always be loved and that love is perfect. You've got it for life, even when you're struggling with sin. You are engraved onto His hands. He has written you onto the hands that created every piece of the universe. 

And that is beautiful. 

"For the Lord comforts Zion;

he comforts all her waste places

and makes her wilderness like Eden

her desert like the garden of the Lord"

I am Zion, a waste place, desert with a wild and sinful heart. 

He makes me beautiful. And He holds me in his palms tenderly in the hands that created volcanoes and galaxies and love. 

And I was a fool to believe that my sin meant that God didn't love me. That my sin was too much for Him to forgive. 

If you, even for one moment, believe that God can't or doesn't love you, please, please, please go read Isaiah. I'll leave you with this: Isaiah chapter 53, verse 2-5 which is about our redeemer Jesus Christ, who grew up from the dust, who wasn't beautiful, who was hated and despised, who was a man of sorrows and unmeasureable grief, who carries us, whose palms were pierced, who was crushed and torn apart so that you and I could have peace and be healed. 

"For he grew up before him like a young plant,

and like a root out of dry ground;

he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,

and no beauty that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men;

a man of sorrows, and aquatinted with grief . . .

Surely he has borne our griefs

and carried our sorrows . . .

But he was pierced for our transgressions;

he was crushed for our iniquities;

upon his was the chastisement that brought us

peace,

and with his wounds we are healed."

We are A City Not Forsaken. 

Isaiah 62: 12d 

sometimes you just need to cry on a curb

Hey, fellow human beings. I hope you're doing well. It's hard to believe, but my second week of college is drawing to a close. (I literally just had to pull out my calendar to make sure. This institution is a vortex).

But yeah. Two weeks of being a college student and I've learned, uh, a few things. About God. About myself. About higher learning stuff. About the south. About southern baptists in general. I've also met some pretty amazing people, to say the very, very least. And we've made some pretty beautiful memories together.

Whether it's been befriending international exchange students/table tennis players named Kevin and teaching them words such as, but not limited to, "skyscraper," "slither," and "venom," going to see horror movies you'll never be able to unsee, traversing the bowels of Mississippi, endless trips to Kroger, attending family barbecues and watching Nicholas Sparks movies, having late-night dorm prayer time, visiting new churches, worshipping God together, going on weekend retreats where you mostly take naps (and cuddle), having spontaneous lunch dates, binging on Netflix, translating accented English teachers, or just simply talking and exposing little bits and pieces of your soul, it's all been a very new, scary, yet lovely kind of perfect.

I have been so blessed these past two weeks. I've met some amazing people and am so excited to see how our lives continue together over the next four years. I've been inspired by my other's intense love for my God and brought to tears from their amusing comments or caring words.

Of course there are always days where you just need to sit on a curb and have a good cry. I'm not going to lie. College is overwhelming (life is too, sometimes). Sometimes all you can feel is loneliness. Not because you're not with people who like you, but because it's still foreign. I'm here but I don't feel comfortable enough to be the crazy, slightly unstable, boisterous girl that I am in central Illinois. Some days you go from class to class not speaking to another human being even though you are surrounded by them just because you're afraid. Afraid of what, I ask?

Don't be afraid.

I'm saying this and there are still days I am. I'm not saying this to get words of encouragement that I'm awesome the way I am or anything; I'm saying this to be real.  I know I have nothing to fear. I have a pretty amazing God on my side. But, yeah, there are still days where I just feel lonely and out of place, foreign

But here's the thing - I'm pretty sure most of the other 600 freshman or so are too. (And probably a couple of sophomores, those wimps. Just kidding). We're all in a brand new world, regardless of how far away "home" is.

Today I felt that way. Lonely in a sea of people. And I could feel it threatening to drag me down, pull me into its despair, but nothing remotely good ever comes from that. So I called my step-dad and was able to talk normally for about 4 minutes before losing it and bursting into half-controlled sobs. I sat down on a curb and cried, talking to him on the phone for 12 more minutes. And he told me exactly what I'm writing now, for the most part. The first few weeks are rough, yada yada, bing bang, but it will get better.

Let's just get a tattoo of that, world.

IT WILL GET BETTER.
If not in this life, on this earth, then after, for sure - if you love Jesus, at least.

So we talked for 16 minutes, I blew my nose into a sweater in my backpack (it took one for the team, my friends), and I said my goodbyes. I stood up, got over feeling sorry for myself, and walked the rest of the way to my Chem teacher's house for a picnic.

My night did get better. I rode in the back of my Chem teacher's car back to campus and talk to some Nice Girls who I hope I run into some day. I went to the dining hall and met two more Nice Girls and chatted with my dorm mates. I went to RUF (no idea what it stands for. I like to make stuff up for it. My favorite is Redeemed Until Friday or Redheads Under Furlow) and worshiped God with my friends. I went to a "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" Lobby party where I got to cuddle on a couch, watch 13 Going on 30, and talk to my new friend Brianna about how cool our God is.

My night got better, yeah, in a great way. Sometimes you just need to cry on a curb - get those yucky feelings and tight-throatness OUT. Breathe deeply, remember how loved you are, and go out into the world believing that life is always beautiful, regardless.

Don't take yourself too seriously.

Snapchat your best friends and your mom.

Call the people who love you.

Eat peanut butter and Captain Crunch Berries Cereal.

Read God's word and thank Him for it all.

And go to bed with a hopeful, peaceful heart.

"And a highway shall be there and it should be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean shall not pass over it. It shall belong to those who walk on the way; even if they are fools, they shall not go astray . . . And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away" (Isaiah 35:8, 10). 

how to be Mississippi

Well, guys, I've officially been a resident of Mississippi for about 36 hours. And let me tell you, I have become illuminated.

How to be Mississippi 

[steps, facts, general knowledge for foreigners]

1. "Ya'll" is unavoidable

2. Be political

3. It's a thing to wear really oversized T-shirts with Nike running shorts

4. Chacos are the thing

5. So are wearing high socks with all tennis shoes

6. Chicken is required for a meal

7. Jokes about Alabama are the best kind of jokes (poor Alabama) 

8. Look nice all the time, even it it's 8 AM

9. Greet every person you walk by all the time

10. Diet soda is not a thing

11. Equestrian teams are real life

[chacos]

[one trend I will not be accepting]

so this is college

Well, it's happened.

I'm a college student. It's happened. There's no going back now. For some, who will remain unnamed (Amber Durham), the process brought about the shedding of many tears. I know it's been a huge transition for me.

I mean, you hear about college all your life growing up. It's an unavoidable part of life, for the most part. The idea of going to college after high school is one that we, as a society, spoon feed to preschoolers. Even as a freshman in high school, I knew without a doubt that I was going to go to a university after high school, but it didn't ever feel like a thing. A real thing. It didn't feel real after I finished my junior, as I started to fill out applications (many, many applications), got acceptance letters, or even as I visited schools. College didn't feel like it was real as I bought chevron patterned dorm accessories or texted my roommate (who is really nice, by the way). Heck, it didn't even feel real on the drive down to Mississippi.

It's a ten hour drive from my home to MC (my college). And as we drove, I couldn't really grasp the fact that once we got to our destination I would be dropped off. My parents were going to drive away and I was not going with them. 

Don't get me wrong - I've gone to camps. I've been over seas by myself. But it was always just a trip, I guess, and not permanent.

And, even as my mother told me "it's just six weeks until you come home. It's just like camp," I couldn't help but feel differently. I am officially on my own. I will always have a home, of course, back in Elmwood with my family, but college is a whole new part of life. It's the start to the rest of my life. Yes, I'll go home for weekends and breaks and summers, but it's different now. After I get done it's not really culturally "normal" to move home again. I'm supposed to be a grown up, with my own apartment (which seems really cool, actually), a small mammal or two for pets, with a job. Maybe even a husband (the scariest idea of all).

Don't get me wrong here, guys. I am literally SO EXCITED right now. For college. For this part of my life and the parts beyond that. I was smiling so much yesterday on move in day that my face literally are sore today. Not even exaggerating. I was so hyper all day and happier than I've been in a really long time. Not that I've been particularly unhappy or anything - my whole being was just so awake and alive and brimming over with the potential and newness of it all.

It just hit me, after my parents left me alone in my dorm room. It hit me even harder as I laid in my bed last night, alone in a room at 12:37 A.M. I was alone.

Really, growing up, I was never truly alone. I may have been by myself, but there were always people I knew/loved within shouting distance. Neighbors, family, peers, teachers, pets, even familiar faces in town.

Suddenly, there was no one else except me. I have never had to go make friends. I'm not trying to be cocky or anything, but I've always had people around me. I was with the same 28 kids for the past ten years. I suddenly realized I could fall through the cracks and no one around me would know. Heck, no one around me even knew about my existence, really.

It was scary.

And for a moment, I'll admit it, I was overwhelmed by doubt and discouragement. I was so lonely. I was scared. I wasn't sure if I'd make friends or be happy or be able to do it.

Pause.

I'M OKAY MOM.

Okay. Back to what I was saying.

For a moment I was tempted to throw in the towel, to give up, to accept the fact that I would become a recluse and wallow in sadness and despair. But I think that's just part of this whole growing up business. It's new. It's scary. It's hard, but, at the same time, while being all these things and more, it's so, so, so very beautiful. Just like the rest of life.

Life can be hard and scary and sometimes lonely. It can be drudgery, broken hearts, failed tests, sickness and pain. Life can suck the breath out of you, a painful ache in your chest. Life can seem unfair or not worth it, but the real, hard truth is - fact, really - is that life is beautiful.

And when something is beautiful it can't even come in contact with ugliness.

These feelings and awful things, these tests and trials and suffering we endure on earth, may overwhelm us and try to make us believe that life is ugly and not worth living, but they are fleeting. Life is more than a failed relationship or crying in a dorm room or feeling broken and worthless. It has ups and downs, but it is an adventure of our very own. There is harmony and love and dancing and friendships and hugs and singing your favorite song.

There is family and color and food and your favorite thing.

Regardless, life is always beautiful.

I guess that's what I've gotten out of my first, what, 36 hours of college? I am already forming relationships. Yes, there is loneliness and fear, but I can already see just how great the next four years are going to be. And I can't wait for them.

And I'm thankful God did this. For the loneliness and confusion, because it was such a reminder that, even though I feel alone, I will always have Him. He is my comfort and my redemption, my strength and my song. My reason for living. God is so good to me.

This life is good.

And college is, too.

They have free wifi and popsicles.




Signed,

a hopeful, terrified, lucky, and extremely loved
child of God, daughter, roommate, friend, sister, and
      college student

Stories That Tell Themselves, Pretty Much, If You Just Think About It

The Time a Snake Had the Nerve to Die on My Driveway

50 Facts About Me

50 Facts About Me

because it was trending on twitter

 

 

1. I would be perfectly okay with never getting married

2. I've never felt like my name was mine

3. Currently, my major is pre-nursing

4. Driving my car is one of my favorite things to do

5. I was born to be a pizza hut delivery girl

6. I love blue eyes

7. I hate snakes very, very much

8. I love words

9. I adore the Gregor the Overlander series

10. I have read the first Hunger Games book over 100 times

11. I've only read the Harry Potter series once through; it was good

12. I'm not a fan of female singers

13. My favorite album is the Catching Fire soundtrack

14. I love film photography

15. I hate Mexican food

16. Being a vegetarian made me happy, most of the time

17. I love to bike ride

18. I wonder what other people think about in general

19. I don't like raspberries or blackberries

20. I enjoy walking around Target

21. I want a pet ferret

22. I've wanted to go live in Prague for about three years now

23. Or Amsterdam

24. I watch video games get played instead of ever playing them

25. I am not competitive. At all. Go you. Somebody has to lose; it's okay if it's me.

26. I have 14 birthmarks

27. I am Pro-Life, in every circumstance

28. I'm actually not very fond of dogs or cats

29. I want a small, tiny car to drive around

30. When I'm around people I never actually think

31. I like hummus

32. I love the books Anna Karenina, The Good Earth, The Color Purple

33. I own almost every one of Jodi Picoult's novels

34. I am perfectly fine with being poor during my life

35. I want a garden of my own, or at least a plant or two in tin coffee cans

36. I'm a nelipod

37. I prefer the Old Testament

38. I've only been a Christian a few years, but it was the best decision I've ever made

39. I don't really want to live in America once I "grow up"

40. I surprise myself often. You think you know a person.

41. If I could have any job in the world, I would be The Giver

42. I read children's books - like chapter books -  quite often. I did today.

43. My favorite shows are 24, Arrested Development, Preacher's Daughters, The Walking Dead, House, and Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory

44. I think it would be amazing if people didn't have names

45. I love to take showers

46. I love nighttime, rain, and springtime

47. I don't remember most of my childhood

48. I had blue hair once

49. I ran away

50. I love you, probably