He told us to get out a piece of paper. At this point, I was pretty excited. Mr. A is one of the most hilarious teachers I've ever had. This just felt interesting. Plus, the seven other people in my class are all pretty hilarious so I knew I would be laughing.
Once we all had out our pieces of paper, Mr. A explained what he had drawn up on the board. You needed a couple of stuff before work and went to the grocery store. When you went to checkout you had to choose a line. Tido's checkout counter had three carts, all with five or less items. Lonnie's line has one cart, but that cart contains nineteen items.
He then asked us to write who we chose and all possible variables for our choice.
All.
He gave us a pretty decent amount of time, and, sure enough, some of the "variables" were extremely hilarious. I had to share them. Some are slightly realistic while others are just, well, hilarious.
All eight of us picked Lonnie's line, by the way.
Here we go.
1) Lonnie, having only one customer in line, is not as frazzled as Tido. She will probably be really nice and tell you all about her grandchildren.
2) Tido has colitis and has to go to the bathroom halfway through his first customer.
3) I chose Lonnie's line because she only has one customer and the chances of one person having the issues such as:
- death - stroke - assassination by other customer
- heart attack - heart failure - slipping on wet floor
- lung failure - liver failure - being beaten over the head with whole
wheat bread
are much lower with one person than three.
4) Tido could be a cover name for Tio, which is Satan in Portuguese. If he was Satan I would have to pay him with my soul and inevitably become a vampire.
5) If I were building a ladder to Saturn I wouldn't want Tido to know my plan. Tido sounds like a snitch and I don't want the Russians to know that I intend to monopolize Saturn for its ice. The Russians need ice for their vodka.
6) The person in Lonnie's line knows how to buy in bulk. If we learned anything from Pablo Escavar it's that you need to always buy in bulk.
7) The last person in Tido's line smells.
8) The people in Tido's line are extreme couponers.
9) If I were to wait in Tido's line, what if the people were old people? One of them could fall, break a hip, and then they'd have to call an ambulance. I would be stuck behind multiple EMTs, which makes me behind 4-8 people overall. This is the opposite of progress.
10) The person in Tido's line with five items is a seventy year old woman named Edna. Not only does Edna have three coupons for every item she wishes to purchase, but she is also rather deaf and Tido has to shout at her, repeating everything he says twice.
11) Edna decides to pay in change.
12) Tido is drunk and pukes on the first customer.
13) Ted from the movie Ted is assisting Lonnie in her checkout line.
I thought these were some pretty creative variables. There were many more, but I only shared a few from each person in class. While I do not enjoy calculus in general, I adore the class. It's usually really hilarious and fun.
Most importantly, we are faced with real life situations like the one above,
Who would you chose?
- heart attack - heart failure - slipping on wet floor
- lung failure - liver failure - being beaten over the head with whole
wheat bread
are much lower with one person than three.
4) Tido could be a cover name for Tio, which is Satan in Portuguese. If he was Satan I would have to pay him with my soul and inevitably become a vampire.
5) If I were building a ladder to Saturn I wouldn't want Tido to know my plan. Tido sounds like a snitch and I don't want the Russians to know that I intend to monopolize Saturn for its ice. The Russians need ice for their vodka.
6) The person in Lonnie's line knows how to buy in bulk. If we learned anything from Pablo Escavar it's that you need to always buy in bulk.
7) The last person in Tido's line smells.
8) The people in Tido's line are extreme couponers.
9) If I were to wait in Tido's line, what if the people were old people? One of them could fall, break a hip, and then they'd have to call an ambulance. I would be stuck behind multiple EMTs, which makes me behind 4-8 people overall. This is the opposite of progress.
10) The person in Tido's line with five items is a seventy year old woman named Edna. Not only does Edna have three coupons for every item she wishes to purchase, but she is also rather deaf and Tido has to shout at her, repeating everything he says twice.
11) Edna decides to pay in change.
12) Tido is drunk and pukes on the first customer.
13) Ted from the movie Ted is assisting Lonnie in her checkout line.
I thought these were some pretty creative variables. There were many more, but I only shared a few from each person in class. While I do not enjoy calculus in general, I adore the class. It's usually really hilarious and fun.
Most importantly, we are faced with real life situations like the one above,
Who would you chose?
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